Sunday, July 27, 2008
It's been a strange weekend. The Hubble began his two week vacation with a phone call from his mother informing him that her brother (his uncle) had died in the night and that their planned skiing trip for his birthday was cancelled.
Tony was an alcoholic and everyone had kind of been resigned to his eventual fate for a long time. He died peacefully in the night, apparently in his sleep and now his family are trying to deal with the autopsy, their mother's grief - poor Norn is obviously devastated, and the preparation of a funeral and a house clearing.
I think that what saddened me the most about Tony's death was that he was a very clever man, full of promise and humour. He was even a gifted athlete in his college days. So how did it ever come to this? How did his addiction get hold of him so powerfully that he didn't even want to try to come out of it? His life ended so ignominiously. He died unable to see the beauty in the world or to see any hope - all he could see was unending misery and so chose to drown that misery in bottle after bottle of wine. His addiction caused so much suffering to his family. Hubble's mum supported him financially (for at least 10 years) and took him backwards and forwards to the hospital when he fell out if his wheelchair and broke his leg last summer. I feel also for Norn, his mother. To watch your baby, a child you cherished and tried to raise well, disappear into oblivion day after day, must have been heartbreaking for her. How did one child do so well and the other not? It was obviously not to do with the amount of nurturing he received. So what drives a person to this level of addiction? It just all seems so pointless. It made me hold my Lily-bean close to my heart and whisper into her ear that she must try to remember why she is here, the purpose she came into this life to carry out and never die with her music still in her, like Tony.
So, the Angel of Grief visits our family and causing suffering to people we love. We mourn the loss of all the potential that Tony possessed and we grieve that his only legacy to those he left behind was his alcoholism. Such is the nature of addiction.
Goddess bless you Tony - may you find peace and rest after this long dark journey. We send you love - may it light the way back home for you.