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Friday, December 12, 2008

One Sweet Blog Award

Thanks again to Moonroot for this cute little number.

I have to list seven things in a number of different categories.

7 things to do before I die

1. Walk the Inca Trail.
2. Write a really good book. One that makes you laugh and cry, smile and yearn.
3. Learn how to make stuff – clothes, toys, anything and everything.
4. Build a mud brick/earthbag/adobe/cob meditation hut.
5. Awaken my Heart.
6. Become a Tantra teacher.
7. Have another baby.

7 things I do now

1. Swear. A lot.
2. Sing all the time.
3. Write.
4. Worry.
5. Procrastinate wildly.
6. Run wonderful events for women. I love my work. www.thedivinefeminine.com.au.
7. Read whenever I can.

7 things I can't do

1. Play piano any more.
2. Anything mathematical.
3. Read instructions.
4. Sew.
5. Prevent my daughter from repeating the last things she hears about a million times.
6. Understand myself.
7. Enjoy sport.

7 things I find attractive in the opposite sex (in no particular order)

1. Beautiful eyes.
2. A great sense of Humour.
3. Creativity.
4. Openness.
5. Honesty.
6. Intelligence.
7. A sense of Adventure/Musical ability (what can I say – I have a soft spot for muso’s).

7 things I say most often

1. Oh, For F***’s Sake!
2. Awesome!
3. Alright. See you later.
4. I love you. (To my mum, my daughter, my hubble, my friends – everyone I love).
5. D'you know what I mean?
6. Christ on a bike!
7. That's hysterical!

7 celebs I most admire

1. Cate Blanchett
2. Kate Bush
3. Emma Thompson
4. Claire Bowditch
5. Dalai Lama
6. Wayne Dyer
7. Daniel Day Lewis

7 favourite foods

1. Fish and Chips
2. Fish Pie (home made)
3. Chocolate and all chocolate related products both known and unknown in this universe and all others
4. Lemon Cheesecake
5. Mashed potato (especially when it comes with Bangers and Red Onion Gravy from the Bangers and Mash Café in Notting Hill, London.
6. Warm Pecan Pie….mmmmm
7. My mum’s Macaroni Cheese

I’m going to follow Moonroots lead with nominations. I've already done a fair bit of nominating in the last post, so for this one I'm going to just say I nominate everyone on my ‘Eye & Heart Candy’ blog roll, and if you read this and would like to join in - well, consider yourself nominated too!

Tree of Happiness Award

I know. A lot of blogging in one day. Still, when the mood strikes (even when the connection is s.l.o.o.o.o.w)...

I find I have been tagged by the wonderful Moonroot, who has gifted me a lovely Tree of Happiness. Ta very much!

The rules of the award are:

• Link to the person who gave the award to you.
• Post the rules on your blog.
• List six things that make you happy.
• Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
• Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
• Let the person who awarded you know when your entry is up.

I think this has come along at just the right moment and is some Good Medicine to get rid of the Bad Mojo surrounding me right now. So without further ado, these are ‘Fings Wot Make I Happy.’

1. Peace. Quiet. Serenity. Ok. I’ll stop now. I promise.
2. My creative, caring and very loving hubble and my curious, challenging, tiring, wonderful, dramatic and adorable daughter. Really. Even when I’m angry and crabby, they are both amazing gifts in my life and I do know how very lucky and blessed I am.
3. Having my writing published. Makes me feel like I do at least one thing well in my life. Writing helps me stay sane. Stories feed my heart and soul and Reading helps me grow up big and strong.
4. A long lie in with a good book.
5. Nature. How I love thee – from the ripe bosom of the fertile Mother to the cold, stone hard ground and chill winds of the Crone – I am thy humble servant and my soul is an ever evolving Ode to thy Beauty.
6. My friends. I am blessed to have many good friends both in this hemisphere and the other. They have provided much support, love and happiness and I am terribly grateful for the wisdom they share and the joy they bring.

My six nominations are:

1. DocWitchy-poo at Dark Side of the Broom. Love her. Love her blog.
2. Griffin from Snapper and The Griffin – lovely stories from a lovely man.
3. Sew Mamma Sew (http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/) – a wonderful blog that keeps my creative yearnings alive.
4. One Red Robin (http://oneredrobin.com/) – such wonderful crafty stuff. I just love it.
5. Suse from Pea Soup (http://peasoupoftheday.blogspot.com/) – mothering, crafting and all things homely and special. Nurturing as a hot cup of tea and a biccie.
6. The Dance of Small Things (http://danceofsmallthings.blogspot.com/) – a blog that warms the cockles, fills the tummy and expands the heart.

Don't forget to share that happiness around.

How's The Serenity?

Well hello there Dark Mother. It's been, well, not long enough that's for damn sure.

I'll make this quick as I'm on the dreaded dial-up and it is so painfully slow that I may kill myself out of sheer frustration before this blog has been uploaded.

We are in our new home - Hurrah! We also have only one or two more boxes to unpack - double Hurrah! Our new neighbours enjoy playing loud Gangsta Rap - Boo! Hiss! Our other neighbours are clearly in a band and I have been serenaded with some seriously heavy drum beats and guitar solos. Surprisingly, this bothers me less than the horrendous 'duff duff duff' of the gangta rap. Being in a band suggests creativity and also, having dated three musicians in a row, I am aware that there is a finite amount of rehearsal one can do in a day. Thankfully.

I am someone who needs, nay, whose very life and wellbeing depends upon, certain levels of peace and quiet. I do not deal well with noise pollution of any kind. When you are merrily painting away with your IPod in your ears and you can STILL hear your neighbours music, then that becomes slightly worrying. I have to say in all honesty that moving in day was completely ruined for me by said musical accompaniment. Especially as on that particularly exhausting and difficult day it continued well past 10.30pm and it meant that I was trying to put my daughter to bed with that in the background like a bad smell. I do think it bothers her less than me thankfully but still. It does beg the question, why would you move to this beautiful area, surrounded by the verdant and abundant green of nature, with peace so possible, and then spend your daylight hours blasting yourself off the face of the earth with music. Any music. The fact that its gangsta rap and therefore horrible, negative and violent, is not so much beside the point as a whole different point all by itself. So - it was with a heavy and anxious heart that I began my stay here in this lovely new home that belongs to me.

I fretted and tossed and wore myself into a hyper-state of sadness and angryness all the while trying to think of ways to avoid, cure or simply deal with this unwanted aural attack. The Hubble very diplomatically suggested that we simply befriend the neighbours and see if we can cure the situation with sugar instead of vinegar. It may be that they don't realise that the sound carries from their house (at the top of the hill) to ours (at the bottom) or that sounds simply carries more here because of the nature of the valley and the trees and so on and so forth. It could be that they simply don't give a fuck. This is what I fear. That I have moved next door to people who have no regard for anyone else or their needs. On one level, I understand it. Really. I do. Why should we let anyone else dictate how we should live our lives? We shouldn't. I am not someone who enjoys confrontation. I'm not someone who wants to try and tell people how they should live. I'm simply someone who craves peace and hoped to move into this amazing area and soak in the beauty and majesty of nature, uninterrupted by such hideousness. Since then, I think I have been 'Woman on the Edge' - waiting for it to begin again, almost expecting it to happen every night. Thankfully it has not. It's been all quiet on the Western Front since Sunday - a fact for which I am extremely grateful. I know I should pull myself together and just deal with it less fretfully but I am not made that way and to do so will require an effort of will and an amount of psychological reprogramming that I am simply not capable of right now. I do intend to try and get myself on track, just as soon as I can get myself on track. I am exhausted and angry and irritable and my poor daughter has been harrassed by 'Mommie Dearest' all week - not a good start to our green idyll.

I can tell that this post is a little disjointed. It's totally how I feel. I also know that no-one can get me back into a peaceful frame of mind and heart but me. I also, also know that if one cannot seen the Divine in everything and everyone (everyone), then one cannot really see the Divine at all. I have the problem not them. I am the one who finds the situation difficult. Not them. I don't want to put them out of my heart simply because, at worst, they are selfish wankers. I think that the Universe is enjoying a great Cosmic Joke at my expense and it's up to me to find a way back to peace and equilibrium despite my current challenges. It's just funny (funny ha ha and funny strange) that in buying my first house, I have managed to buy into my worst nightmare. Well, actually, let's not get over dramatic - it's my semi-worst nightmare. I won't write my worst nightmare out. Don't want to focus my energy on that now do I!

I've been seeing a Homeopath and she reckons that when I am back in harmony, so will my environment settle. I'm hoping that this is true. I'm adrenally exhausted and my fight or flight stress levels are very high simply due to the fact that I can handle large amounts of stress without actually realising that I'm stressed. Early childhood and all that. So - she has got me on something or other to basically smooth down the ruffled Kitty fur and get me relaxed (or as relaxed as I get - think wooden board with a soft cover on) and then we'll start dealing with all of the other stuff. Deep joy.

Anyway - we are here. It's looking more like home. Much painting has been done (our bedrooms look awesome) and much more painting has to be done. The wood panelling has to go. I don't want to live in a sauna. We are also very definitely getting double glazing put in. Firstly to stop the noise and secondly to insulate and keep the house toasty. We are living in a house that was previously occupied by DIY bodgers and there is some seriously dodgy electrical oddments happening which means that when we turn on the dining room light all the upstairs lights go out. Yes, honestly. That made me laugh. That's a good sign.

Anyway - I am longing for the broadband connection to be re-established, so that I can once more live like a modern woman instead of a pioneer. I can then check in more frequently and read my favourite blogs in peace. Well, you know what I mean.

Until then I wait. It's what I do.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Home Sweet Home She Sang

Home Sweet Home
Well, it's been full steam ahead over here at Chez AH today. There's been packing, worrying about not packing fast enough and, dropping off many boxes of stuff at the new place. Yes, at long last, I now hold in my sweaty little hand the key to our very own hoosie. Life is good.

The shine was taken off the apple somewhat by the rather less than pristine state the house was left in by the previous owners. I was annoyed, nay very pissed, for at least two days and we were left with a lot of work to do to simply clean the place to a decent standard. And all of this before we could even start to move our stuff in. We decided in the end that we should try and paint the place before moving in furniture as it's so much easier to paint unimpeded by 'stuff'. So a lovely weekend of sugar soaping walls was enjoyed by all. We then painted most of Lily's room a lovely soft heathery dusky pink. We intended for there to be green feature wall but upon completion of said feature wall, we were both rapidly transported back to the late 80's, big perms, 'Back to the Future' and all. We speedily painted over it in white and now Mummy is going to add a little of the pink to a lot of the white and have a slightly lighter pink feature wall instead.

Tiny Rant. I complained to the estate agent about the state the place was left in (dirty unhoovered floors, dirty walls and woodwork, scuzzy cupboards etc) and was told that the previous owners had 'cleaned it to the best of their ability' and that they were 'honestly nice people.' Harrumph. I would never (ever) leave a place in that kind of shitty state. We would lose our bond if this place looked like our new house did. So, I was a bit cranky for a few days and I think it upset the hubble a bit. He wanted it to be all grinning and cheer because we do now own our own house. I am a glass half empty kind of girl. Sorry. I need to be allowed to experience my disappointment (and my fear of so huge a commitment) before I can enjoy the fruits of this intense labour of love we are undertaking. I AM honestly joyful that we now own our very own piece of Real Estate. I love our garden. I love that I can paint the place whatever colour I damn well please. I love that I am able to relax (in my mind at least) knowing that no-one can sell it out from under us because it's OURS. And I especially love sitting on the terrace and seeing nothing but green frondyness spreading out before me like an emerald ocean. It's pretty glorious. On the downside, the house is a little darker than I would like. It doesn't seem to get a huge amount of sunshine after the early mornings. Comes from being at the bottom of a very steep hill I guess. I'm thinking of cutting some more skylights into the kitchen and possibly adding in a window to both top bedrooms. Something small and slim like a bathroom window into the exterior walls perhaps. Of course, this will all come 'in time' but the planning is good. I'm also starting to put out little tendrils towards plasterers and am researching Eco Plaster of all things. Well, we are trying to be 'greener' and have gone with some pretty good green paint for the house. Anyway - once the annoyance of dirty house had passed, I was all systems go and got stuck into sugar soaping and painting with great gusto. So all was well in the end.

We have SO much stuff to pack up here it's not funny. I keep looking around me and whispering quiet prayers for a speedy, nay miraculous, pack-up in the next few days. The removalists are coming on Saturday at 8am (Ye Gods - don't these burly men sleep?) and we have to be R.E.A.D.Y. I made some small inroads into it today interspersed with ignoring Lily a lot in order to do a lot of Change of Address notifications with banks etc. That was long and very tedious but necessary.

Momentary aside. I have just looked out of the window to see the most glorious crescent moon hanging like a tiny silver charm in the blackness. Above it shines a single, very bright star. I used to have (and may still have somewhere) this tiny silver crescent moon necklace. I wore it almost all the time back when I was around 24. Tonight that moon looks like that necklace. Perhaps I should see if I can fossick it out of my jewellery box. Perhaps a girl needs a little lunar charm at times like these. I shall miss these views from on high when I am deep in the valley below. Yes I shall.

And now she is gone. Obscured by cloud once more. Think I'll play a little celtic music to soothe my tired soul. Maybe a little Mary Fahl - jeez but she's a pretty little thing. And you gotta love that dress!

I feel like I have so much to say and now that I am here I can't remember any of it. I guess there is just so much going on and my brain is full of all the things I am desperate not to forget. Heh heh.

by bcarlson15210

I've been a bit of an angry bunny for a few weeks. I get like this sometimes though I'm not entirely sure why. Every damn thing pisses me off so intensely - it's like I've lost a layer of skin or something and there is no buffer between me and the chafing. Some of it deserves my anger, some of it does not. Poor Beanie has had crotchety witch mamma for a while and although she's been enjoying pushing the boundaries quite a bit, (well, a lot actually), does not deserve my evil moods. So on top of the anger has been a fair bit of guilt and sadness too. All of this at a time when I am also happy to be moving into my own home and harvesting the bounty of broccoli, broad beans and beets that await me in my new garden. For that I can almost forgive the mess the previous owners left behind. I know. I know. Get over it puss!

Anyway - I shall not dwell - I shall steadfastly move on to 'Things That Save Me From Myself'. Nothing in this world makes me feel quite so heart achingly happy as my little girl, particularly when she suddenly decides to belt out impromptu songs such as 'I have peace like a river in my Soul' or, as Lily sings it, 'Peas in the river and a sword.' Her rendition of Bob Marley's 'Three Little Birds' is just so sublime I can't tell you. She is so wonderful and so funny and so wildly, passionately unselfconscious and I want so much to protect that quality in her, knowing, as I do (and despite my seeming confidence) what it is to be self conscious. Now and then I ask her to 'sing to mummy' and without so much as a breath, she launches into a song about whatever she has in her head at that time. This afternoon, as we prepared for a nap, she sang about me telling her not to turn the lamp on and off and encompassed 'the whole world' and threw in things like some shoes, a little girl and a toad. Oh, for that imagination. Mind you, it comes with a complete set of 'I like to cover my whole face (including my ears) with vegetable soup' extras. Tuck in and enjoy my friend.

Anyway - its late, my back is knackered and so am I. Time for a good (ghastly, ghoulish) book and a warm duvet. We are about to go onto dial up speed for the next week or so until our swanky new wireless broadband is up and running, so it might be a while. Still, next time you might get photo's of the new hoose and me hauling large boxes up too many stairs.

Bon Nuit.