Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Scent of Light
In the Cherry Blossoms shade
There is not such thing as
So, it's all pink and girly.
I almost feel as if I should apologise. I didn't want it to be quite so, well PINK but there was a shortage of non-fussy, non eye-hurting backgrounds that went with my beloved cherry blossom picture. So - pink and girly it will have to be. At least for a while.
I'll keep it brief as the natives are getting restless. Something to do with a nappy change and some book reading I believe.
Spring has arrived.
Oh, I know there's another few weeks of Winter left according to the calendar, but I'm with the trees, particulary my beloved cherry blossom trees, which are in full and an unembarrassed flower around our way. Even the bossy magnolias are getting their showy flowers out for the passers by. So to me, it's spring.
I am unwillingly drawn into the activity that Spring seems to demand. I mean, I have actually cleaned my windows. This is something not undertaken even on my best days. I tidy restlessly and hoover angrily but I'm not big on proper cleaning. As long as things aren't covered in crap, I'm relatively happy. So cleaning the windows, unencouraged as I was, is a little strange and definitely one of the symptoms of Spring Fever.
I am still deep in my winter longings so this early awakening is not entirely welcome. I can feel my soul stretching towards warmth and the scent of something green floating on the wind.
That's quite annoying as you can imagine.
I am unready to come out of my hibernation. I have not yet experienced the deep stillness of the snow and I am unprepared to move forward into new life again. I still need the deep, dreamless sleep of winter and so feel distracted, uneasy and ill at ease in my own skin.
Still, the cherry blossoms cheer me. As does the pussy willow. I want to cut some of the cheeky pinks and furry grey-white branches and put them on my dining table. Bring a little of that spring inside, so that I can sit with it for a while and gently unfold myself from my heavy layers and my dark days. Their bright little bodies make me ache a little.
It is still cold up here in the hills and I do love that. But you just know when a change is on its way and I can feel it. I have always been able to sense the seasons changing before the calendars. There is something unique to each seasonal energy. Some pull that takes you spiralling upwards and outwards, as in Spring and Summer. Or diving deeper into the 'Sshhh' that is Autumn and Winter. I like feeling those connections, especially as I am someone for whom connection to life and to the Divine is somewhat sporadic and unreliable. Probably because I simply do not allow myself time to be still and do nothing. This is what winter is for, for me. A time of silence and deep reflection. Of course, that doesn't take into consideration the needs of a life full of child centred activities and needs. Still the virtue of a good practice of prayer and contemplation is that it can be easily brought back into even the busiest life with a little attention. It's just whether you want to pay that attention or not. Sometimes I don't.
And so, in this strange state of half awakenedness, this heart will try to sit. Hopefully the next step, the next shape that awaits me, will become clear in a little while.
There is some kiss we want with our whole life,
The touch of Spirit on the body...