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Friday, August 15, 2008

Not Waving but Drowning

Well, today has been no bloody fun at all. For a start off Lily drove me so mad with her incessant nagging today that I had a major meltdown at 7am this morning. There are only so many times I can stand 'mamma' being chanted at me (when I'm standing right next to her) along with shouted demands that I cannot meet in the second that she needs them, before I feel like bloody killing myself. I then went into the shame spiral that is my internal dialogue about my shit mothering skills because I was, once again, unable to control my temper with the one person who needs my stability the most. So today, again, I hate myself for being unable to control even one aspect of my unruly personality when it matters the most. I worry that her next sentence will include the word 'fuck' or 'fucking'. Seriously.

I am horribly hormonal in that way that had me crying at Elmo counting backwards from 10 to 1 this morning. Don't ask. If I am not pregnant, then this is the worst PMT I've had for a while. I think I will quiety excuse myself and head under the duvet for an extended period of time. Perhaps until next Winter. I feel like the dam could burst at any moment and I might actually drown in my own tears. Stupid I know.

On top of all of this I realised this afternoon that I had forgotten to take back the DVD's and incurred a $16 fine. Then ,when I got back to the car, I had a parking fine of $113. It seems my befuddled brain had completely misread the sign and so it was deserved. The word 'fuck' seems warranted here. Or at least 'bollocks'. Sometimes only a good swear word will suffice.

Anyway, in an effort to alleviate this misery, I am going to post up some recent photo's. The first is of my Organic booty from yesterday's vegetable shop. I felt like such a 'Hill's' woman with my basket. The lemons are from our very own tree. Yum.


This second image is a shot of the hubble hangliding - my present for his birthday. He completed a whole day of introductory training in Torquay and is thinking of taking it up as a hobby. The wind was up but it wasn't the best day for hangliding unfortunately. Still, he had lots of fun and we were all a bit windswept and interesting at the end of the day.


These two shots were taken by Lily.

I love them. I really do.

2 comments:

docwitch said...

Gah. Some days just suck. And then fines rain down upon one's head to reinforce it all in that Romans- oppressing-the-poor-wee-Gauls kind of way.
Don't think that's very lucid of me is it?

Anyway, that basket of organic goodies would cheer me up. Lover-ly.

Michael is very brave doing the hang-gliding thing! It would be very exhilarating I would imagine.

Griffin said...

I struggle to tell myself on days like that - bad days are balanced out with good ones. Usually after the swearing - and 'Bollocks' is my word of choice too. Very closely followed by 'fuck' or 'Nyaaafuckit'.

At least she got your lovely smile.