On Getting Carried Away

*Cottage Garden (by *Susie*'s Photostream ~Flickr)

"May I a small house and large garden have,
And a few friends, and many Books, both true,
Both wise, and Both delightful too."

Abraham Cowler 1618-1667
English Poet

There is a lot to be said for getting carried away. An exploration of the limitless imagination can provide many a sweet dream and more than a few relaxing hours. I do love a good 'away with the fairies' hour. Never more so than now. I've been getting quite carried away with the possibility of owning my own home for the first time in my life. Yes, the Hubble and I are taking the plunge finally. Finally meaning we can actually afford to now that we live in one of the cheapest areas of Melbourne in which to buy property (outside of the slightly less salubrious areas at any rate). We saw, we likey, we put in a conservative offer which is likely to be accepted. We find out on Monday. This is both ARGH! and YAY!

Owning ones own home is, I believe, a spiritual necessity unless you able to rent one place that you love in the long-term and decorate it how you please. (We have been unfortunate enough to have to move house twice in under two years due to people selling our rental properties out from under us). I cannot tell you how thoroughly joyous I am that my years of being subject to someone elses colour palette are coming to an end. No more beige or peach or lilac walls for me. no more horrible turquoise and peach lino from the 80's, no more floral monstrosities passing as curtains. Ah the sweet, sweet promise of change. It practically makes me giddy.

And don't even get me started on the garden. Despite its perilous incline, the current owners of our property have created a sort of magical walking wonderland out back. Tiny paved pathways lead up and up and up past all sorts of wonderful fauna and flora and, most magical of all, they have already created a vegetable patch. Now I'm the first to admit I have less than green thumbs, but I do have a lot of enthusiasm and a watering can - so how hard can it be?! I have just ordered myself a copy of the most wonderful book called 'All New Square Foot Gardening' and it promises to be a most enlightening read with regard to growing a fair amount of veggies in a small amount of space. not that we have a small amount of space. We have a whopping back plot but the current veggie garden is conservative and I'm happy to start small. Best to kill only small amounts of defenceless vegetables to start off with, don't you think? They'll have no extended family and they probably won't be missed.

Anyway - I have been dreaming big dreams of increasing self-sufficiency. A getting back to nature scenario that would probably scare an aborigine. I've gone into great detail about my fantasy new life. I become a sort of 1950's housewife crossed with Diane Fossey and it's all about baking, cooking from scratch (frugally but with great gusto) using fresh organic ingredients from my very own patch, knitting, sewing and making stuff, maybe even quilting. Hell, I've even bought a book on making soft toys from old socks. (By the way, an update on my Sock Monkey project for my daughters second birthday coming soon!).

There I am, far svelter than I am in real life, sporting rolled up jeans and flip flops digging my hands into the soil and getting ever closer to mother earth all with fantastically manicured nails. It's just so divine. I imagine myself sitting out on my gorgeous suntrap of a terrace, surrounded by fresh herbs and fruit trees, sipping a pot of chai or chamomile tea, watching the brightly coloured Rosellas and Cockatoos flying around our bird feeder. Nodding a gentle hello to the gigantic black faced sheep mowing our back lawn as he enjoys a leisurely green breakfast. Chuckling as next doors chooks spook at something Bella* says to them with her mischievous yellow eyes. Laughing at my daughters antics as she tries to plant seeds in small boxes full of black, richly scented earth. (She is incredibly well behaved in this fantasy and never makes a mess or lobs tufts of dirt at me, as she is likely to do in real life). I lounge on my chaise in the sun room and read for hours. I potter about in the kitchen. I play with my wee girl and yodel hello to the neighbours. Later we'll swap recipes and gardening tips (though hopefully not partners). It is an idyll.

*Kitchen Garden (Susies photostream ~ Flickr)

Of course its all dependent upon whether or not they accept our offer. Monday seems an awfully long way away on this quiet Friday evening. Still, I will miss this relatively gently sloping garden with its tall gums and its shady wattles. It is a lovely garden and made all the more lovely with the knowledge that my days sitting out on its prickly green grass watching for the sunset, are now numbered. In just 60 or more days, we could be gone from this emerald patch and its wonderful sights and smells. Gone to a better place sure but still gone - and that makes me just a little bit sad. But only a little.

Because of my complete immersion in the new fantasy version of my life in my new house, I rather rashly suggested to my hubble that we 'make' everyone's Christmas presents this year. Yes, I know, it's probably insane. I've never really been into cooking or baking or crafts etc. I've always had the envy but never the time or inclination. However, as we will be living like wild green fairies in the jewel of Tremont and stretching ourselves to our financial limit to do so, I thought it might be nice to hand make things for our rellies, this side of the globe at least. So, with that in mind I intend to find out what everyone's favourite goodies are and make them up a batch. Maybe even make them into small gift baskets. I'm thinking easily doable things like scones, muffins, cookies, shortbread, damper - that sort of thing - all done up in cellophane and tied with a pretty ribbon and a handmade card. I might even do Christmas icing or whatnot - though this may prove too ambitious. These are pictures of two cakes I made from scratch and iced for my beanies 1st birthday. Note the rather wobbly looking farm animals. Hmmm...

Me looking very pleased with meself.
A green sheep.

A red pig, a blue cow, a yellow duckie and a whole lot of handmade birthday love.

Anyway, this suggestion was happily taken up by my husband and so now I'm sort of committed. Or I should be. I did make it clear that he had to help - especially when I'm in the grip of the almost terrible two's and am tearing my hair out.

There is a definite yearning in me to live a more sustainable life. To walk lightly on the earth and leave only footprints. I have always experienced such profound (and physical) heartache when I am in the presence of truly beautiful scenery. It doesn't have to be grand or dramatic either. I remember being almost moved to tears once by my old bosses garden on a particularly lovely summers day. I'm hoping that this potential garden, this new green haven of dirt and grass and plants will breathe new life into my sometimes ragged soul and allow that connection to deepen. To ripen like fruit in an orchard, waiting to be touched by a divine hand and taken on an unforgettable journey.

I am drawn to a more simple life of living in harmony with the passing seasons, of eating more healthily, of crafting things rather than buying mass produced plastic products, of engendering a growing awareness of the earth and her many precious gifts in my precious little one. I want her to grow up knowing her connection to that which is greater than ourselves and which we feel in deeper contact with when we are out in nature. i want her to know where her food comes from and how it grows -how it looks and smells and tastes and what it means to do this for yourself. I want her to know how to sew and make things with her hands. I want her to be fully present in her life and to know the magic that she has been given to create a life of joy and purpose, no matter what she chooses as a career.

*

It is these things that carry me away right now. To a place of sweet dreams scented with basil and honeysuckle. Why don't you come join me?

The Winds of Change

Photo by Bayat on Flickr.

There's nothing I love more than moving. No. Wait. Sorry. That's my lobotomised self coming through. What I should have said is that I HATE moving. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. It practically makes me feel suicidal, so deep is my enmity towards it. Not moving into a new space and all the promise that that holds, that's pretty cool actually. It's more the packing of endless boxes, realising how much crap one has unconsciously accumulated and tussling with oneself about whether to continue to hoard or throw overboard. Then there's the redirection of mail (we are still enjoying our current redirection thanks) and the cancelling of bills and services followed quickly (or happening simultaneously) by reconnecting services and changing addresses on absolutelyeverydamnthing. That's what I hate. Oh and loading and unloading large trucks and watching unnervingly hairy 18 year olds mangle furniture. I'm still smarting from the last move (a mere 10 months ago) when aformentioned reptilian brained teenagers placed our microwave oven on top of our beautiful wooden hall table WITHOUT anything inbetween. Massive scratching still visible. Teenager strangely never heard from again...

Ho Hum.

So, here we are again. 10 months into the second tenancy that ends with our house being sold out from under us. (Bitter? Moi?). After only just really getting settled in, we are now required to move. Our tenancy runs out in November and after that it's a 'month by month' while the owner tries to sell. We had our first open for inspection on Saturday. Am I the only person who secretly resents unknown persons wandering freely through my inner sanctum? I know its actually hypocritical as we are out doing the self-same thing every Saturday. But still. It's me. Harrumph.

The hubble starts a new job on Monday and has this week off, so we have actually started the nauseating job of packing. We figure that if we do it slowly but methodically, it will be more bearable and, perhaps, less a case of throwing everything into boxes pell mell, forgetting to label them and then spending 2-hours trying to find the kettle and cups. We shall see. I can't even bear the thought of what's lurking under the house (usually big hairy arachnids). Shudder.

Never mind. As one door shuts (literally) another opens. We might be buying a house. The hubble accidentally stumbled upon a fantastic house on Saturday. I'd like to explain about this happy accident because it will also tell you a lot about my husband. He was returning from his visit to the dentist* (first time in 4 years) and saw an 'Open for Inspection' sign. He had a quick shufty around said property - no go. He got in his car and pootled on, saw another sign, realised that it was well out of our price range and carried on driving. He saw an interesting road he liked the look of, turned into it, saw a sign for ANOTHER open for inspection and turned towards it. 15 minutes later i get a call from a (trying not to sound too excited) husband demanding that I join him at my earliest convenience. 10 minutes after that (and with only 5 minutes remaining of the inspection) I arrived. Looked around the house, loved what I saw and entered into frantic whispered discussion about buying said property. Now we are currently engaged in organising a mortgage, inspecting the property again with family (tomorrow) and plotting to buy. Very exciting stuff. The location is wonderful. So secluded (and at the end of an unsealed dirt road), in amongst the trees and so 'country' that we share a sheep (cum lawnmower) with our two neighbours! Did I mention that our other neighbour has a pony? I'll keep you posted. We could be homeowners by the weekend. Yikes! By the way, our new home is so remote that our home comes complete with this sign.


In anticipation of this potential move and in anticipation of the painting frenzy it will surely bring, I went out and bought Beanie some lovely 'big girl' bedding for her new bed. (It's actually her daddy's old single bed but we are going to paint the stripped pine white and make it more girly for her). The bed set is gorgeous. Here are my rather pathetic photos of it.




The Butterfly in more flowery detail.

Well, I must go. My daughter is brandishing a rubicks cube at me and muttering darkly about the 'miaow'. I fear for the life of our poor chubby Poohsey. New words are emerging daily from our nearly 2-year olds mouth, not least of which is 'Oh, this is nice,' and 'this is licious!' I just love it.

Squeak soon.

*the lucky bastard has perfect teeth. Not so much as a coffee stain on his pearly whites (though he did have full headgear for most of his adolescence). It will reveal even more about him to know that it didn't bother him in the slightest to have great wads of metal coming out of him from (almost) every orifice and he went on to star as Jesus in Godspell!). I, on the other hand, have only to think of going to the dentist in order to need a root canal. HarrbloodyRumph!

The Happy Heart

Well, I hardly know what to say actually. Not something that is usually a problem for me. The lovely Moonroot has nominated me for an 'I Love Your Blog' award and I'm very touched. It is wonderful to know that someone reads my waffling and likes it! Anyway, thank you Moonroot for your kind words about my blog and for nominating me for this award. I'd like to thank my mother for having me, my management company and of course God...

Ahem.

The Rules for those receiving an award are:

1. The winner can put the logo on their blog
2. Link the person you received the award from
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs
4. Put links of those blogs on yours
5. Leave a message on the blogs nominated

Now I'd like to do some nominating of my own.

There are a couple of blogs that really do warm the cockles of my soft little heart and these are:

1. DocWitch at Dark Side of the Broom, whose posts are funny, smart and with just enough wildness to make me love her more with every read. I am addicted.

2. Erin at BlueBirdBaby Her blogs have inspired me many, many times and I adore her unbridled creativity and shining, happy spirit. Any woman who can juggle motherhood and creativity gets my vote!

3. Jessica MacBeth at Sings to Coyotes, because she just tickles me. And how much do I love the title of that blog!

4. Rema at The Hermitage
(thanks Moonroot!) because she lives in Scotland (pang), she has a cool earth sprite wagon and because she appeals to my wild gypsy heart. Plus talented or what?

5. Terri Windlings Studio beautiful artwork - mythic and moving. Love it.

6. Kitchen Witch - cos I have a soft spot in my heart for other witchypoo's. Especially smart ones.

7. Inside a Black Apple because I have craft envy.

8. A Goddess in the Kitchen because she's funny and cooks and has 5 kids and still manages to do, well, anything... plus she's a tiny bit ranty sometimes and I secretly like that.

Well, I hope that you'll check out these other wonderful blogs. I'll check in again later. Off to spend some quality time with my bubsy.

Come As You Are

"If you surrender yourself to your essence,
the whole world surrenders to you."
Come As You Are ~Rumi

So, I have changed the name of my blog and in doing so, I have changed its reason for being. In the beginning The Dark Mother was upon me, with me and working her shadow magic through me. I believe that I am emerging, blinking, into the light of a new day. It is as much a decision as it is a process. I no longer wish to dwell in darkness. I no longer wish to mother through shadow. Who I am is splitting open and I am more ready than before to face the discomfort and joy that this journey will bring. I am ready to face that which I have previously turned away from and to sit with it. In this change comes a promise of peace.

It's not that I expect that my life will continue onwards without darkness. I know that it won't and I don't think I would enjoy it if it did. I appreciate the dark. I love the night and the end to striving that it brings. I would not more be without the dark as a balance to the light as I would be without the night as a balance to the day. I still hit the edges. I still struggle with my vulnerability in motherhood and my anger but, despite this, I simply want to refocus my attention on the possibilities for awakening that are present in this journey. The new title comes from a book I'm currently reading by Pema Chodron called Starting Where You Are (see What Mummy is Reading). She refers to Bodhichitta which is the awakened heart - the art of living in our wounded, softened heart. I don't know why but it spoke to me. It is a journey I feel I have been unknowingly working towards all of my life. My spiritual journey, though sometimes confused, has always been towards this state of Bodhichitta. I long to soften and awaken my heart and begin the process of unravelling those places within me that are battered and bruised. Not because I want to wear them as some sort of badge of honour - 'look what I have survived' - but more because I simply want to let it all go. Those who have visited here before will know how hard I find it to surrender and it is precisely because of that that I am walking, head down, into its powerful wind.

What I love about this idea of the awakened heart is the capacity for joy it contains. I have been inspired over and over by *Erin from Bluebirdbaby and she refers to this state of unadulterated joy for the simplicity of life in her recent Butterfly post. She is another woman who, like me, struggled with motherhood initially before learning the subtle art of surrender and the joy that it contains. She really has 'got it'. She explains her experience of it better than I ever could, so please pop over to her blog and enjoy her own words on the subject.

It has taken some time but I have finally begun to understand the true nature of the statement 'with our thoughts we make our world' ~Buddha and, this being so, I needed to step voluntarily out of my own shadow and into the world of lightness once again. I am someone, who despite a natural tendency to be sentimental and soft-hearted, leads with my extremely sharp mind. I am not a scientific type or a maths and numbers type, I am a creative sort who is held hostage by my overly analytical brain and because I am so soft-centred, it often leads to unhappiness with the way things are. I punish myself severely for all perceived mistakes or wrongs and I never give myself any credit for the things I do right. I am not tender or kind or compassionate to myself. I am not patient or understanding of my faults. And so I am here, at this strangely quiet internal crossroads, not walking but waiting until the path becomes clear to me. I am here learning to be compassionate and kind to the only person that really matters on this journey. Me. It sounds terribly selfish doesn't it? I know. I have a hard time putting myself first in any situation but its true. My spiritual journey has nothing to do with my hubble or my child. It is only about the unfolding of my Self. Sure it may impact on them - positively or negatively - but it is not about them. What they think or experience is not the focus of my spiritual journey, only awakening my heart and following my soul's guidance is important here. In this place I am more present and therefore more able to love well than when I wear myself weary to the bone trying always to put them first. In the place of the awakened heart there is joy in every moment if we are awake to see it - how could that not benefit them?

I am beginning a new type of meditation this week - *Shamatha-Vipashyana - just a conscious watching of the breath and an awareness of my self-talk which is simply labelled as 'talking' and let go of. I'll let you know how I go. My meditation has been sporadic of late due to my daughter's somewhat unpredictable waking and sleeping cycle. She's been waking up at my meditation time again recently and crying out for me. I am powerless to resist the pull of those sad little 'mamma mamma' kitten cries. I think i have been a bit stagnant of late actually and reading Pema has put me back on track once more. I am not a buddhist, nor do I have any aspirations to become one. I am simply drawn to the simplicity of that way of life and wish to try new things. I will always be a daughter of the Goddess because my wild green heart demands it of me.

So - I will leave you with a poem from Rumi to contemplate. It is one which I think perfectly describes my state of being.

Come as You Are

Where is Islam's accent
when it comes to the language of love?
If you surrender yourself to your essence,
the whole world surrenders to you.

Every day spent in separation feels as long as a year.
But when you come out of separation,
where does the day go?
And what becomes of the night?

On this pilgramage, removing the dress
of your existence
is the cloak you must wear.
But who will be able to comply
with the conditions of this cloak?

Village and town, near and far,
the changing seasons,
all are on this side of the sea.
But on the other side, where is the town?
Where are the seasons?

Man's mind and reason have created
the cold loneliness of separation.
But when he warms up with that wine,
where is the mind? And what becomes of reason?

A bird in the cage
is under someone else's control.
But when he breaks the cage and flies away,
what becomes of the control?
Where even is the bird?

When the mind is confined to the head,
it tempts the body to commit sins.
But when the mind of minds explodes open,
where are the sins now? Where is the body?

If you drink,
go swaying to the land of secrets
without your feet.
If you're already drunk, then come as you are.
Where has your mind gone?
And where is the need to be something
you are not?

*Erin and I share quite a lot in common - particularly books and ideas.*
*This link is to a page with an excerpt from the aforementioned Pema Chodron's book which tells you how to do this type of meditation. Very simple.

The Business of Being Divine

Well it has been a while, hasn't it?

I've been wanting to come and post a bloglette but have unfortunately been buried under a pile of little Goodie Bags waiting to be filled with their magical spoils. I have spent the last 4 nights, printing off tiny spell scrolls, rolling up tiny spell scrolls, tying up tiny spell scrolls and putting tiny spell scrolls into appropriate coloured bags. I have also been up until 1am for the last two nights filling small sparkly bags with appropriately coloured candles, a stick of incense, a money off Tarot voucher card and my gorgeous business card. Then I spent a night filling small roller ball bottles with almond oil and a blend of aphrodisiac essential oils and making myself feel a tiny bit sick in the process. I guess you can have too much of a good thing. It did make me dream about sex a lot though so it must work! We have Purple bags for Success, White bags for either Peace or Soul-Purpose, Gold bags for Creativity, Pink bags for Love and Red bags for Passion. This blur of activity is just part of the work that goes into producing one of our gorgeous events and these bags in particular are given away for free at our hen nights. We also have pretty boxes filled with White Tigress Love Potion Number 3 - a potent blend of tantric massage oil guaranteed to bring out the Tigress in you! So that's tonights entertainment sorted then. (Making up the bottles and boxes - not so much trying out the wares unfortunately!). I must be ovulating or something... all this skirting around sex and sensuality. Still this is the business of The Divine Feminine and it's what keeps me up at night.

Moving swiftly on.

In recent weeks I have been busy with matters more spiritual. Namely the making of my beaters. Yes, many moons ago I made a lovely drum. In fact, many moons ago Lausy and I made our beautiful drums together - from the same Red Deer. It was my birthday gift to her and a wonderful day for both of us. Making a drum is an interesting experience for two vegetarians (well I was then!). Handling the wet slippery skin of a deceased majestic beastie is quite, well, disgusting actually. And yet not - if that makes any sense to you. We were asked to choose our skins intuitively. That meant closing our eyes, having a wet skin put on the table in front of us and running our hands all over it before deciding if this was 'our skin' or not. I remember touching the first skin and shaking my head. Something about it felt like a 'no' to me. I then touched a second skin and nodded vigorously. This skin felt right under my hands and I wanted to keep touching it. When Laura and I opened our eyes our drum teacher told us that we had both refused the others skin! We then spent the afternoon stretching and strapping on our skin to our drum hoop. It was a complicated and tricky business but very satisfying to watch our spirit drums take shape. We were both so thrilled with our finished drums that we rushed out and put them on a shelf for 2 years.

Kitty's Drum - *note the two dark striped markings that looks like a bird in flight in the centre. My drum maker suggested it looked like an Eagle.

I have increasingly been using my drum in ritual but before that it sat forlornly on a shelf thrumming with a longing to be beaten. To sound out the hearts call to Spirit. Anyway, in honour of my drum and in order that its sacred voice might be heard and as I had never gotten around to making a beater (we ran out of time on the day!), two weeks ago I booked myself onto a drum making course with a friend and asked to make two beaters. I don't know why two. I just wanted two. The reasons will become clearer in time. Maybe I is greedy.

It was great fun. The lovely Judy O'Donnell (who is a goddess of all trades but is fantastically good at making drums) brought out her specially chosen branches, her sheepskin pieces and her lovely suede coloured beater heads. I chose a green head for my 'day' beater and a purple one for my 'night' beater. Once we had chosen our bits 'n' pieces she then produced a veritable witches cauldron of animal, mineral, arachnid and bird bits for us to include. On the day in question the drum makers and I had been asked to draw a medicine card for our drum. There were two Whales, one Bird and I drew Spider for my beaters! So right off the bat I was given a spider carcass to put in. Pause for cackling.


As I had decided to make a night and day beater, I separated my 'bits' into two piles. After much eyebrow raising at the contents of her special basket, my beaters were filled with the following:

Night Beater:
Moth (wing - intuition, psychic perception, knowledge of other world), Bat (bones - Rebirth), Spider (whole), Snake (skin - transmutation, sexual energy, women's wisdom), Horse (hair - power) and Cat (fur - integrity/embracing the unknown)

Day Beater:
Horse (hair), Possum (fur - invisibility, ability to avoid danger), Buffalo (fur - abundance), Snake (skin), Echidna (spine - playfulness, trust), Bee (legs) and Moth (wing)

Both beaters also contained sand from a Tibetan Mandala, Vibhuti (Vibhuti is the sacred ash used in religious worship in Hinduism) from both Amma - the Hugging Mother and the lovely Sai Babba, sage, sweetgrass and cedar to honour our native brothers and sisters, and a pinch of red ochre to honour the Red Centre of this land. We then beaded our beaters and added feathers.

The birds that chose me were Raven, Tawny Frogmouth and Magpie for the night beater,

and Duck, Hawk and Galagh for the day beater.

Both beaters also have a separate strand of Ostrich feathers to honour the spirits of this land.

The story of Ostrich is that it voluntarily gave up its power of flight in order to walk the earth here. That makes it's medicine very special for our earth walk.

So - after all that activity, I ended up with two very special beaters for my beautiful drum and here they are united at last.


I am intending to attend some Full Moon Drumming in Dromana with Judy and her friends next month, so I'll be sure to take some photo's and report back with any interesting experiences.

Well, I'd best get my ever spreading ass back to the business of being Divine - I have bottles of potion to make and boxes to fill before I sleep. Ho Hum.

Things to Do in The Hills for (almost) Free (Meme)

I don't even know what a 'meme' is but having read Eglantine's Cake most recent entry I decided to get in on the action. So, here are some things you can do in the Dandenongs.

1. I recently discovered the Burrinja Gallery at 351 Glenfern Road, Upwey (Melways Ref: 75 B12). They have gorgeous exhibitions of indigenous and contemporary art, you could catch a show in the performance space (though that would cost money), they have a lovely little cafe for food, coffee, wine, cake - whatever you would like and it's very cheap. I haven't taken my little one there with me but I would.

2. Puffing Billy - Australia's century-old steam train is still running on its original mountain track from Belgrave to Gembrook in the scenic Dandenong Ranges, just 40 km east of Melbourne. Now to be fair, you do have to pay to get on it, but we have just been to the station and had a good look at the train itself and have sometimes driven to it's various stops to get out and watch it go over the picturesque old wooden bridge on the Emerald Gembrook Road.

3. Sassafrass - between Belgrave and Olinda is the township of Sassafrass. Here you can wander up and down the streets window shopping, you could peek into Geppetto's Workshop - a wonderful toy store on the main drag. They happily let you play with their toys without having to buy anything. There is also the wonderful Oracle - a shop with more than its fair share of curiosities both New Age and staff based. Lovely for a little relaxing gazing around and they are very tolerant of kidlets. You can choose a lovely free 'Oracle' for the day from the hands of the lovely Angel in the front of the shop. If you are tired and in need of a sit down (they have high chairs) there is also Miss Marples , a well respected 'Tea Rooms' famous for their Devonshire cream teas. Bit pricey though.

4. Walks - that's what the hills are famous for. Pack a picnic, catch a train up from Flinders Street in the city to Belgrave and walk to Sherbrooke Forest (which is just a shortish walk from the hight street, up Terry's Avenue). There are many tracks to follow, you can choose one based on your physical fitness but rest assured that all of them are beautiful and peaceful and full of bird song. You could also get off the train in Ferntree Gully and do the 5km-return 100 Steps and Kokoda Memorial Walk. The walk was created in memory of the men who fought on the Kokoda Track in World War II. Tree ferns, misty gullies, moss and secret valleys - just glorious. For more information on walks go to Parks Victoria.

5. Camberwell Market - Ok, not in the hills by any stretch of the imagination but I love this place. Just browsing the stalls of brick 'a' brack is good fun, as is the clearly mental Elvis impersonator who cannot sing a note on key but dresses for the part. Definitely worth a look and there is plenty of hot food available for veggies and non veggies alike. Don't go past the hot doughnut van, Yummy.

6. My house - all welcome. Coffee, Tea, Herbal Teas, Water and Juice all available and if you let me know you're coming I'll make us some soup.

There are of course numerous other amazing places to visit like a plethora of gorgeous gardens or the William Ricketts Sanctuary which I absolutely recommend anyone who comes all the way out here visit. It's so beautiful and the aboriginal art is incredible. However, all the other things I can think of cost money.

I have included the rules below (as set out by Penni) for anyone else who might want to get in on the freebie action. Hope someone finds this information useful.

THINGS TO DO IN MY TOWN FOR (ALMOST) FREE MEME
Here are the rules (because it wouldn't be a meme without rules):
1. List (at least) five things to do for free in your city or town, not just well publicised touristy things, but things YOU might do too!
2. Write it with a visitor in mind.
3. Tag three people* - extra fun if they live somewhere you'd like to know better or you're going to sometime soon.
4. If you're anonymous/coy about where you live, choose another town or city that you know.

The Third Plague of Egypt

One of the Ten Plagues of Egypt by John Martin

Well the day has gotten off to a rollicking start. Already I've cleaned the towel and linen closets out, rearranged and pruned all the clothing shelves in the wee one's bedroom and her closet, I've rearranged her boots and shoes and I've even cut out and stuck up her recent artworks on her bedroom walls, where she can bask in the glow of her own unfettered creativity. Obviously, I did all of this while she was otherwise occupied with my husband and so the whole thing will last oooh, say, 10 minutes tops?

On top of all of this, I've managed to do another two loads of washing ( in addition to the 5 loads I did yesterday) and rotate the drying a wee bit. I have also, with the help of hubby, unbogged our car which, complete with trailer, was stuck in the mud outside our gate, unloaded said trailer (twice) and carted heavy pieces of furniture up the driveway to store under the eaves to air. And as hubby sailed off into the sunrise to return trailer, was instructed that he wanted to clear the porch of all the furniture we have recently acquired, wash it, sand it and paint it, and put up our new girls single bed (which used to be her daddy's) when he returns. We will probably have to paint that at some point in the future too as I want to keep her room light and airy, (especially given that our house is a riot of pastel shades and so her room is currently Lavender with a hint of '1982'). So, we are busy little bees indeed. I am now due to clear off my desk in order to accommodate my new (salvaged) desk which is currently one of the items in need of a good clean on our porch.

Before I go though, as if recent events weren't enough (being visited by fines, flu and general pestilence), things got a lot darker on Friday night, let me tell you. It all started with me stating that I had had a very itchy head for the last two days. I asked the hubble to look at the base of my neck to see if there was some sort of a rash or bite. Well - suddenly he froze and said, "I see something." Little did we know how lucky he was to have seen something. He plucked the offending article from my neck and showed it to me. A louse - and not the 'cheated on his woman with her best friend' type of louse. The horrible many legged kind that lays up to 9 eggs a day and survives by sucking your blood. I tried not to retch into my cuppa. After more investigation the prognosis was confirmed - we had been visited by the *Third Plague of Egypt. Yes, for the first time in 38 years I had head lice. (Cue skin crawling and frantic scratching in the manner of cartoon dog). Ugh!



So, I immediately broke out my essential oils and into 100ml of Almond Oil, I put the following: 40 drops of Rosemary, 20 drops of Lavender and 20 drops of Geranium, plus about 5 drops of tea tree as this is all that was left in the bottle. You can also use other things like Sandalwood which is good for the skin (and smells delicious) and Lemon which has great antibacterial qualities. I then slathered said mix all over my head and hair and all over the hubble's. Beanie was sleeping and so missed out on all the fun. I know that I'm going to sound like a great big Jessie when I say this but I was actually a bit freaked out about being the host of my very own headlice party. It just made me feel dirty. I mean, I know that it's not about the cleanliness of the hair or the house (and thank God they can't live for more than a few hours off your head - I could not face having to try and delouse my furniture and beds and everything else), they live on blood, so anyone's blood will do. I also know that freaking out about it (albeit mildly) is not going to get the head de-loused. Still, it was creepy and I mean literally - there were who knows how many little beasties creeping around my scalp, shagging, laying eggs and sucking my blood - and for how long had this horror been going on? (Pause for quick scratch). I only know that my poor daughter must have bumped heads with another little anklebiter and swapped more than the usual cold germs - hence mummies first visit from the louse fairy in her long 38 years.

The next day's dawn saw me shipping a greasy headed husband off to the nearest health store or pharmacy for a couple of brands of lice treatments that I had found on the Choice website. He bought back a herbal brand called Wild Child. We then showered out the oil, dried our hair, applied copious amounts of the white conditioner like treatment and combed through with a lice comb. Can I just say here a hearty 'GAH!' Lily took umbridge at having her golden locks pronged and slathered and promptly vomited into her chair. (I think this has more to do with her current ill state than the product). Then the Nit Family AH had a shower and hoped to the Holy Heavens that the populace was, if not decimated, than severely reduced. We have to repeat the treatment in another 7 days. Oh joy of joys. In between times, I have to do one or two treatments with some plain white conditioner and the nit comb. The recipe is: Apply white (cheap) conditioner and comb hair with nit comb. Wipe findings on a tissue and repeat until you have been over the head about 5 times. This apparently is good for getting rid of eggs AND lice. In fact,(according to the internet) there are many families that swear by this treatment rather than fancy pants lice treatments which may or may not work.

Things to note about lice.
They cannot live for more than 24 hours (at the outside) away from your scalp so they will not infest your bedding or furniture etc. Though washing your pillow on 60 degrees and putting it in the tumble dryer will make doubly sure of that. Hence the HUGE amounts of washing I'm doing this weekend. I wanted to leave no stone unturned.

They lay up to 9 eggs a day and not all the eggs are removed with the treatment and the lice comb, so you have to treat your hair more than once to be sure of killing them all. Two treatments 7 days apart is recommended with 1 or 2 conditioning treatments in between as mentioned above.

You can use the essential oil treatment for your hair as both a preventative measure and a conditioning treatment. Rosemary makes hair smell herby and gives it a nice shine. You can even use a combination of a few drops of each as a hair rinse in your final rinsing water after washing. You don't need much for a rinse though, maybe 5 drops of each max in a jugful of water.


The Ten Plagues by Farm4 on flickr

Anyway, as a result of this further brush with pestilence and it being of the head lice variety, I now feel officially initiated into Club Real Mom. Not to say that anyone who hasn't dealt with head lice is a fake mum, far from it - its just that (in my humble opinion) dealing with childhood illnesses, infestations (which are
extremely common unfortunately) and other sundry catastrophes that regularly afflict families (and by that I mean mothers, as most dads are out at work all day) are the very things which make us a real mummy. Our unconditional love and ability to cope sanely with with the horrors, the vomit, the shit, the snot, the weeping pus-filled escapades, of our children, is what makes us a real mom at the end of the day. So, shudders notwithstanding, our too many trips to casualty, our way too many high temperatures and snotty colds and hacking coughs and now the yuckiness that is lice, have all served to finally, after much resistance and complaint, plonk me down into the me that is now a real mom. I have been baptised with the fires of experience in the fields of childbirth and child-raising and am now a new woman who is happy though slightly pertubed as she really doesn't quite know what to expect next. Perhaps a visit from one of the other 9 plagues is imminent.


*The Ten Plagues of Egypt were rivers of Blood, Frogs, Lice or Gnats, Flies (or Wild Animals - translation is unclear apparently), Disease on livestock, Boils, Hail & Fire, Locusts, Darkness and finally, Death of all of the First Born of Egypt.

Not Waving but Drowning

Well, today has been no bloody fun at all. For a start off Lily drove me so mad with her incessant nagging today that I had a major meltdown at 7am this morning. There are only so many times I can stand 'mamma' being chanted at me (when I'm standing right next to her) along with shouted demands that I cannot meet in the second that she needs them, before I feel like bloody killing myself. I then went into the shame spiral that is my internal dialogue about my shit mothering skills because I was, once again, unable to control my temper with the one person who needs my stability the most. So today, again, I hate myself for being unable to control even one aspect of my unruly personality when it matters the most. I worry that her next sentence will include the word 'fuck' or 'fucking'. Seriously.

I am horribly hormonal in that way that had me crying at Elmo counting backwards from 10 to 1 this morning. Don't ask. If I am not pregnant, then this is the worst PMT I've had for a while. I think I will quiety excuse myself and head under the duvet for an extended period of time. Perhaps until next Winter. I feel like the dam could burst at any moment and I might actually drown in my own tears. Stupid I know.

On top of all of this I realised this afternoon that I had forgotten to take back the DVD's and incurred a $16 fine. Then ,when I got back to the car, I had a parking fine of $113. It seems my befuddled brain had completely misread the sign and so it was deserved. The word 'fuck' seems warranted here. Or at least 'bollocks'. Sometimes only a good swear word will suffice.

Anyway, in an effort to alleviate this misery, I am going to post up some recent photo's. The first is of my Organic booty from yesterday's vegetable shop. I felt like such a 'Hill's' woman with my basket. The lemons are from our very own tree. Yum.


This second image is a shot of the hubble hangliding - my present for his birthday. He completed a whole day of introductory training in Torquay and is thinking of taking it up as a hobby. The wind was up but it wasn't the best day for hangliding unfortunately. Still, he had lots of fun and we were all a bit windswept and interesting at the end of the day.


These two shots were taken by Lily.

I love them. I really do.

A Chicken is for Life, Not Just for Christmas

What can I say? This is the kind of people we are...


Who you callin' chicken!


Mamma - I've had an outbreak of spots...

At Christmas in the UK we were gifted these funny little hats and masks by my Neices' daughter, Ashleigh. You gotta love family!


And as always, everyone comments on Beanie's beautiful blue eyes.

Snotterbox and the Villainous Lurgy

Yes indeed. It seems that it's not only DocWitch that has been afflicted with the evil lurgy. Alas the House of AH has been visited by the Pox Fairy also and we are currently snoring, snorting, snotting and overheating in equal measure. Poor Beanie has been worst afflicted. She had a temperature of 40.6 last night and a nose that dripped into her mouth almost all the time that she was upright. She also has the hacking phlegmy cough of a $2 hooker. When my beanie is sick she will not let me leave her side and last night this meant that she was sandwiched inbetween my hubble and me in our big bed trying not to spontaneously combust with the reflected heat of our two bodies plus our 13.5 tog winter duvet from the UK (where they know about cold). We did not sleep. We tossed, turned, snotted, coughed, neurofenned, cried, snored and demanded water at regular intervals all night. At 6am my poor knackered hubble carried our sweaty little bundle of bung into the kitchen for a spot of sultana bran and let me disappear into the delicious oblivion of sleep for a couple of hours. He is SuperDad, and I love him.

This morning, with a surprisingly chipper little snotterbox, we crafted and painted the morning away. She then demanded some biccies and 'Ya Ya' whilst brandishing a homemovie of herself from aged 9 to 18months. She proceeded to eat said biccie whilst intermittently shouting 'mamma' 'daddn' and 'yaya' at the TV. Here are a couple of her recent accomplishments.

Horsey Horsey

Why did the Chicken?

Now if I could just convince her that the paints are not, in fact, made by Max Factor, we'd be getting somewhere.

The End of My Happiness?

Beautiful Beanie

And so, this post completes my 30 Days of Happiness extravaganza. It has been a really interesting journey. It's actually a lot more work than you would imagine but what I really like is that it requires a level of awareness in daily life that we don't normally exhibit. I enjoyed being a bit more 'in the moment' which I normally find quite difficult. True, there were days when it all felt a bit of a chore to try and record what gives me happiness and there are days when you cannot photograph what brings you joy, but the fact that I did it served to make me more aware every day of those things that do. I smiled more as a result of my undertaking and I really was amazed at how much joy and happiness my daughter brings me every day. This was a very special gift for me and one I will cherish.

It turns out I'm pretty easily pleased. The things I really love, my Beanie, my hubble, my spiritual journey, my fire, a hot chocolate, nature, a good book or 20 - are all things that don't require any great sacrifice of time or energy or even money. They are things that make me feel safe and at home and they can all be with me wherever I find myself. The revelation of this is that my needs can really be reduced to just these few simple things which create for me a sense of comfort and peace. This is another gift to cherish. We live in a world which encourages us hourly to buy more, to do more, to have more. I found in these 30 days that the things which give me real joy cannot (for the most part) be bought (books and hot choccie aside). I know, it sounds like a cliche but I do not need the latest fashion or a bigger bank account (although that would be nice, I'm sure) - I don't even need a slimmer figure or more perky boobs. All I need is my family and a few home comforts to make me truly happy and that's something to be remembered when I get caught up in the frenzy of life again.

30 Days of Happiness - Day 29 & 30

Happiness is...

Spending two days exploring the Tarot with one of the world's experts on the subject, Rachel Pollack. The wonderful Tarot Guild of Australia brought Rachel over for some work all over Australia and their courses are very good. Plus, the food they put on as part of the workshops - scrummy!

I was a tiny bit disappointed in the full day workshop on Saturday. Not with the subject matter which was The Hanged Man and the minor arcana suit of Swords - both of which I enjoyed exploring. More that there was too much talking with not enough practical enjoyment of the cards and spreads, which is where I think I learn the most. I got a bit bored half way through the day and it never really livened up after that. Given her level of expertise and knowledge, I really expected a bit more practical stuff. She also has a very distracting vocal tick which sounds like she's phlegmy.


The Rider-Waite Deck

Most people start out learning Tarot using the Rider-Waiter Deck and i was certainly no exception. They are easy to interpret and full of symbolism. However, sooner or later, you find yourself salivating over other, more artistic or colourful or outlandish packs and eventually one chooses you and demands that you buy it and take it home.

I am a bit of a Tarot whore. I have many packs. I have the Thoth pack by Aleister Crowley. I love the artwork by Lady Freida Harris but they are so heavily symbolic that it can be a bit of a chore to read with them.

Thoth Pack


Priestess Card from the Thoth Pack

I used these cards for readings for a very long time but eventually wanted something more lighthearted. I chose the Witches Tarot and then, not long after I bought that pack, the beautiful Druidcraft Tarot by Stephanie and Philip Carr-Gomm
sang to me like a Siren and I was lost. I simply HAD to have this pack.


The High Priestess


The Lovers
I adore this image. It's so sensual and so absolutely what the word 'lovers' conjures up for me. The sleep of spent passion. The abundant nature all around the two makes one feel wild and uninhibited again. Just beautiful.


Cernunnos (Horned God, Lord of the Green Wood). (The Devil card in traditional packs).

I love this card. The Devil card is generally about self-imposed bondage and the fear of fear itself but here this idea is turned on its head somewhat, with the beautiful Horned God energy so present. Yes, there is still a tremor of fear in this card, who wouldn't quake in the presence of Pan himself? Yet, there is again that feeling of freedom, of wildness, of power in the raw and I love it. The lovers are there again in the foreground. I like to think that it's his energy which has led them into their passionate embrace. Dark and mysterious yet so natural.


This is just an overview of some of the major arcana. The images are so lush in this pack, I just want to eat them up.

Aside from Tarot packs, I also have a few Oracles such as the beautiful Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and Hrana Janto.


Isis - the card of mothering


Kali - one to call on when cutting away things you no longer need.


Couldn't resist this image - sorry.

I used to have a real problem with the image of the Sheila Na Gig (a Goddess found on churches and mystical sites all over Ireland until they systematically destroyed them with the fire of Catholicism), until I realised that she was (and is) a very potent symbol of feminine power. The power to give life, to birth it into the world as babies, as ideas, as new life in all forms. The thing that most people struggle with is that in this image she is an old woman. I think that as a culture obsessed with youth and beauty, we really find it hard to accept that there is still power in the Yoni of an old woman and that she might want to use that power in her life. It's such a confronting image but I do just love it. Sometimes confronting the power and beauty of our own bodies (at whatever age) is what we most need to do to find peace and step into our own wisdom.


My favourite mythological personage - Morgan Le Fay - witch sister of Arthur and Priestess of Avalon.

I am curently working a little with the Spirit of The Wheel Oracle.


It is more of a shamanic deck with gorgeous medicine shields of animals and titles like Ripe Berries Moon and Long Snows Moon. I like the Native American feel to this deck and I am using a card daily to connect me with the power of Great Spirit.It's lovely to work with and has a little prayer at the end of each card explanation that is lovely to say daily.

The Tarot is a very valuable tool for self-exploration and self-growth and need not be held purely in the realm of psychics and fairground Gypsies. I find it useful as part of my daily meditation practice to just tune in to my cards, choose one for the day and then see how accurate its message was by days end. It also attunes me more deeply to my cards so that I can use them more effectively when I read for other people.