Nourish Me:: Week Nine - Keep Calm...

One must take ones Yuk's where one finds them.

Ok. So it hasn't strictly been a weekly post. I have been attacked caught up by the usual dramas of family life - 'She's got chicken pox. No, it's not chicken pox, it's just the exact symptoms of chicken pox in the exact order they usually occur in without it actually being chicken pox. Oh. Right. So we needn't have cancelled everything then...', cleaning, cooking, kinder, school tours, baby stuff, tantrums (mine and other people's), blah, blah, blah. It has been so busy and I have been completely exhausted by it all that, instead of posting, I've been sitting in bed watching True Blood again and knitting my little ass off. A friend told me about this little sign (above), based on the English wartime signs, and it made me laugh.  That's a good enough reason to include it here methinks.

SJK Handspun Blue Face Leicester Light-Bulky 

Apple of My Sky (109g-157yds) 

from SeeJayneKnitYarns on Etsy

Ah knitting. How I do love thee. It's been especially pleasurable because for the last two weeks I have had my good friend Docwitch, up here in the these thar hills. Oh what bliss. We have spent many days together touring Ye Olde Goode Op Shoppes (thrift shops), having lunch both in and out of my house, making fires, drinking wine, baking and yes, knit, knit, knitting. I have to say that Doc's knitting is of a different calibre than mine - i.e. it looks like it's supposed to and it fits it's recipients but it was just such a pleasure to sit and talk and knit and watch stupid YouTube clips together. It doesn't happen often unfortunately as we live in two different parts of Melbourne and though they are only 40 minutes to an hour away, it takes an awful lot of logistical planning to get us both in the same place at the same time. So I soaked up the opportunity to spend some quality time, with a wonderful witchypoo friend and her gorgeous daughter. Our little witchlings, though 4 years different in age, played wonderfully together, though I do recall Doc's daughter becoming a somewhat draconian schoolmarm and threatening to give Beanie 'the strap' if she talked out of turn in class! Ah twas fun indeed.
When they returned to their normal life in the 'cidee', I was then joined by the lovely Solyluna who will remain up here until early June. Oh but I shall be completely spoiled by then and shall be bereft when they leave me up here all by my lonesome. Until that fateful day arrives, I shall revel in all the time spent with such delicious company and top up my sorely depleted batteries. I don't think that either woman realises just how precious their friendship is to me nor how much they lift my spirits with just their presence and conversation. I am very blessed.

So knitting. I am, I fear, almost as big a yarn slut as I am a book slut - and that should tell you a lot about me. I have yarn envy, I covertly 'touch' other people's yarn, I fawn over their projects, I stroke the pretty skeins as they flaunt their colours and textures and invite me to buy. I start one project only to get unusually excited about something else and thus starts the slippery slide into the 'multiple projects on the needles' which justifies me buying a bit more of this lovely yarn, and oh, look at that one, it's so purdy.' abyss... I LOVE it though, knitting aside, I seriously think that I am developing some even more old ladyish qualities. I've started to make chicken stock regularly for goodness sake. And baking? Darning? Don't ask. Next thing you know I'll be drinking sherry and smelling of piss 'n' biscuits.

Lovely, lovely Noro

I am just about to complete a beautiful 'Rainbow Dress' for Beanie. It has knit up really well in gorgeous Noro silk wool and it has been my first big project on circular needles and I am hooked. Literally. Knitting in the round is so easy and it's so satisfying. No seams to sew up at the end (and I can't tell you how many projects I have lying around waiting for me to sew them up!) and no boring knit one round, purl the next - you just knit each round and miraculously, stocking stitch appears on the other side. It's magical. I am also knitting up something for my wee Bear and I hope to have that finished next week. It's so exciting. I spend most evenings just watching movies and knitting. I haven't yet mastered reading and knitting but one day...one day.

The glorious and amusing art of 'wool' or 'yarn' bombing whereby something ordinary gets a knitted makeover. 

Truly though, knitting and crafting, which it seems like I've been doing constantly in the last four months, is keeping me sane. When things get tough, and they have been, it is a balm to my shredded soul. There is something so meditative about knitting, something so soothing and calming. It brings me into the moment and gives me something to focus on beyond my cares and woes and day-to-day struggles. And the truly great thing about knitting is that its so easy to see progress and that is exceptionally satisfying. 


I've also been crafting up a storm for a number of swaps I'm engaged in. I will post more on those later, with piccies, but for now know that, in my blogging absence, I have been beavering away in earnest and enjoying myself (in this at least) more than is strictly proper for a woman in the autumn of my life.


I'd best be off. My knitting is singing to me like a siren. I'm so close to finishing the dress... But. Before I leave, I will once more share my latest sweet nourishy bites with you.

:: watching :: True Blood Series One & Two again. Oh that naughty, naughty Eric but then in series three there is that hunk of werewolf Alcide. Oh my. Be still my beating heart. Did I hear someone say 'doggy style'? Really. You ought to be ashamed. He's a person, not a hunk of extremely desirable man meat. Tsk. Tsk.

I like it Ruff!

:: loving :: I'll give you a clue...it involves yarn.


:: longing for:: some time alone. To sleep, to think, to write, to make stuff, to dream.

:: looking forward to :: comfort food, mulled wine and more knitting in front of the beautiful fire in our little coonara. The Winter Solstice - particularly the lantern parade that happens in our community every year. New crafting projects.

:: heading towards :: some scary soul searching and shadow dusting.

:: enjoying :: the heady array of flaming autumnal colours that surround me. I find myself holding my breath as I pass yet another tree on fire with colour - pinks and red and oranges and yellows abound but there is also scarlet and peach and honey and green and chestnut and russet and crunchy dark browns. Oh how they delight me daily. A work of fiction on audio cd in my car - The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton - it's terribly intriguing and lovely to read some fiction for a change.

::making:: wool roving swans, wool roving summer fairies, felt toadstools and yes, a rainbow dress for Beanie with my beautiful, colourful (almost all gone!) Noro wool. Ravelry pattern here. I'm still making lots of lovely soups - I made one today that was oven roasted vegetables and kale - mm mm mmmmm. I've also been making apple pies from hand picked organic apples from a friends farm. SO yummy. Recipe here. The only thing I did differently from the recipe was I stewed my apples for 10 mins in some dark muscovado sugar to soften them.

:: surprising myself :: by putting myself first for a change. I have made some small changes to our sleeping arrangements here at chez skarbek, changes to give me more sleep and it has had a positive knock on effect with the children. I am learning, slowly, that if mamma isn't happy, ain't nobody happy. It's only taken me 4.5 years to stop being so bloody guilty over every friggin' decision I make and to realise that no matter what my ideals, if it isn't working for our family then it's time to let it go.  

:: feeling :: challenged and, if I'm honest, a little bit afraid.

:: hoping for :: positive change, connection and acceptance.

:: grateful for :: good friends, good wine and the early dark.

And with a swirl of her (knitted red riding hood) cape...she was gone.


*excuse the awful spacing - my page seems to be having a 'moment'

Nourish Me:: Week Four - Random Acts of Kindness

This week I have been pulling from the deep well of nourishment that is giving to others. As much as I need to nourish and take care of myself, I have found, quite unexpectedly, that giving to those in need brings a smile to my heart.

Quirky and whimsical wee bunnies.

As I mentioned in my previous post on Craft Hope, my girlfriends and I have been busily making up our birthing kits for the midwives in Haiti. We had a few hiccups to overcome, not the least of which was two of us have babies to lug around with us (and older kids in school/kinder) and the other one being a very busy working lass with a new business to cherish and grow! Still, apart from the joy of crafting (and it is a joy), it was a wonderful excuse to spend some time with two lovely women and catch up, have a giggle and still manage to do something for those in need.

Beautiful totes created by our gal Tracey

Some of the other little question marks with our kits were:

Are we allowed to send ORANGE drop sheets (yup, couldn't get the clear ones anywhere local!) and would they mind if they were a bit bigger than the suggested size? We figured that it might be helpful if they were. We certainly hope so.

Will they let us post the hand sanitizer as it apparently has ethanol in it. This might cause a kerfuffle with customs apparently. We sent it anyway as it is so important. Let's hope the Gods decide to let our box through without inspection!

Will they mind the big bars of soap as we couldn't find the little ones?

Would my cashmere bunnies be too fluffy for the newbies? They are so cute and soft and lemony but they are a bit fluffy. I'm hoping they will be alright for the little ones to cuddle and love. Laura did such a good job embroidering the faces - so cute!

Receiving blankets  - all finished and so soft!

I have to say though, that the nicest part of this whole experience was how it left me feeling. I felt good about doing something that didn't benefit me in any way but that was so important to someone else. These kits will save lives - newborn's and their mother's - that's an awesome feeling to take away from this. I CAN make a difference and hopefully, despite the quirks with our kits, we WILL!

The kit all bagged and tagged and ready to go! Cute bear made by Tracey.

The girls got a bit of a shock when they came to post our offerings. It cost a whopping $160 to post our boxes to America to be sent on to Haiti. Yikes! That was really the only downside of this particular project. Australia is so far away from America that postage really stings. But then, this just happened to be a particularly hefty project. Lots of their other stuff isn't, so don't let our experience of postage put you off. We shared the cost between the three of us and, like I said, it feels good to be helping. Anyway, isn't life priceless? It is to me.

The all important contents of the kits.

Unbelievably, just these few items save lives: Rubber gloves, hand sanitizer, a drop sheet, 3 pieces of string (for tying off the umbilical chord), alcohol wipes, a bar of soap(!) and the little extras that make it truly special - a soft toy and a beautiful snuggly receiving blanket.

So - I've been walking about with a big smile on my face because of a few hours spent gossiping, giggling and eating delicious food (thanks Laura!) for a good cause. If any of you are the least bit crafty, get on over to Craft Hope and take part. I promise you it will be the best thing you do this year.

And on that simple note, I leave you with two more things to make your heart smile.

Check this out because it made me go, 'awww'.

AND

Check this out for ways to put a smile on someone's face.


Don't forget to let me know what you guys are up to with the whole nourishment thang by leaving a comment and providing a link to your post. And don't forget to link back.


Hope you have a fantabulous week.


*All photographs taken by Laura of Warmth and Light. Good Job lady!

30 Days of Happiness - Days Two, Three, Four & Five

Reasons to be cheerful parts two, three, four and five.

Well what a lovely few days its been.

On Wednesday we caught the best of the spring weather with friends down at Mount Eliza and spent a happy two hours on the beach with the small fry. Beanie, being entirely unbothered by sub zero aquatic temperatures, waded into the freezing water up to her kneecaps. I would like to just point out here that the water in Melbourne is freezing even on days of 40+.

Lily and BFF Lana surprise the water with their cheeky barefootedness.

It was a glorious day - one of the best I can remember recently. We spent ALL day outside in the beautiful spring sunshine moving from beach to lunch to park to a different park and finally, with much resistance from my deliriously tired child, home.


Also making me delirously happy this week is the fact that my daughter is finally potty trained.

YAY! simply does not cover it. Think of something super exciting, possibly with a loud and prolonged squeal attached, and then multiply it by 1000 and that's where I'm at. The joy I feel is slightly more than my dark lusty thoughts about Ryan Reynolds. You will note that she is wearing knickers in the above pictures. We've had a few minor accidents and one major incident which I have tried diligently to wipe from my memory, but apart from that, my girl is going great guns. When caught short outside she simply informed me that she would 'squat down here like a dog.' We don't have a dog. Should I be worried?

She is adorable, no?


I love the beach. I think I love it almost as much as my gorgeous beanie-girl. It's so nice to look forward to spending more time down there now that the weather is starting to get warmer.
Mamma and me - wellies

We've also been getting creative in the kitchen. We made gingerbread men from a Steiner snack book recipe (using molasses and honey instead of sugar) - they turned out yummilicious and we then attacked them with a huge amount of glitter gel. As you can see, we got a tiny bit carried away. Ok, I did. Still, it was funny and the gel is surprisingly tasty for something that contains almost no natural ingredients!

Our culinary masterpieces in all their...um...glory.

Also making me happy these past few days is:
Deciding to have another baby.
Discovering new artists including the delicious Bearkat
Buying some cute new swimmers for my baby girl - I may have gone a little bit overboard but damn it she's going to look so lovely when we disappear off to Hamilton Island for five days for a friends wedding. Something else that is making me very happy.
My new funkadelic glasses (photo to come) made me quite smiley. Yes, it's true, my left eye went and got middle aged on me. The right one is a little annoyed to be honest. Still, when I put them on I could suddenly see more clearly. Guess that's the proof in the proverbial pudding innit.
Just watched the second series of Flight of the Conchords and yup, it's just as fandabbydosy as the first. Some highlights for me were sugalumps and epileptic dogs.

And finally, a kiss is not a contract - remember that ladies.

Oh those cheeky boys.

The Devoted Heart

*Fire Woman

Well, with temperatures increasing again towards a scorching 43 degrees tomorrow - we are girding our loins, packing our bags and heading out of the hills to the relative comfort of St Kilda beach. The horror heat along with the forecast 100mph winds are definite bad guys in the war against bush fires and we are in no way prepared to stay and defend our property, hence our decision to get thee hence! When I say 'willing' I actually mean we have no credible fire safety plan rather than being prepared to stay and fight fire with, well hopefully, water. Besides which, our house feels like its on fire even when it's not - we have no air conditioning, a fractious toddler and a whinging pom (that would be me then) to deal with, so it's really best for everyone concerned if we stay away for the day.

As I completely buggared up my back last weekend and then had the chiro add insult to injury on Thursday, leaving me in great pain and in need of ice packs and a babysitter, I am currently about as flexible as the mummified remains of an episcopalian priest. This adds to the desire to get the hell away from any potential fire lest I become good kindling. Tomorrow is also the St Kilda Festival and that is very definitely another reason for leaving my home and heeding the call of the Siren of the Sea.

So - I am currently bubsy free (and missing her a bit if I'm honest) and am likely to be so until tomorrow morning. I know that I whinge a lot about wanting some time off from the crazy path of motherhood and then, when someone kindly obliges, I miss her horribly and fear that I will never see her again. I had to have my Bean fix, so I called up nanna and had a long discourse with Beanie about the relative merits of hanging up washing with pegs and a book that had a cow and a duck and a horse and a duck and a sheep and a duck in it. It was delightful. I'm a very lucky woman even if I often feel like a Banshee in dire need of prozac.

My darling Docwitchy is going through a tough time right now which has come unfortunately swiftly upon the heels of extricating herself from another tough time. My love goes out to you dearest rose of my heart. Remember to breathe and take it all one step at a time. It is often better to let go of the ultimate destination and simply trust in the step that is currently being illuminated.

Apart from the heat, the aching back and the sadness of dear friends, I am feeling more centred than I have in a long while. Mothering often produces more downs than ups for me and I end up in this giant whirlpool of regret being sucked under by guilt and by my concern about my ability to parent Beanie well. I know that regret and guilt are self-defeating emotions but it doesn't always help to know that. If that makes any sense. I am, more often than I wish, a not very good parent. I won't go into long boring detail about it all. I've said it all before. It just seems that despite my understanding of why I do what I do, I am still unable to prevent myself from doing it. Knowledge and wisdom are not the same thing.

This morning, after the first uninterrupted nights sleep in a long while, I meditated not once but twice. I immediately felt calmer and more present. It reminded me of my desire to connect more readily with Spirit and to really fully awaken the Divine within me. I have often said that it is not a matter of changing who we are but of becoming who we really are. I like that idea so much more than the idea of having to become someone different from who I am. It's not that I won't change, it's more that the changes will not be enforced upon me from outside of myself - like squeezing myself into an ill fitting shoe. Unravelling is really where its at. Peeling back the layers of 'stuff' that accumulate upon one's soul and around one's true heart. The layers that mask our true selves from each other and very definitely from ourselves. I sometimes think that my heart is like a ruby covered by dirt and dust and leaves and 39 years worth of misunderstanding and hurt, shame and confusion. Every time I meditate, I feel like I start the process of lifting some of that debris from around my jewel bright heart. I start the process of allowing that heart to breathe some love into me. Of course, I often ignore it completely and find myself too 'busy' to meditate or find that something or someone pops up to prevent it from happening. I think that maybe this is just an outward sign of my inner resistance. I have to be prepared to do it anyway. To take this time to reconnect and to find my stillness and my breath and my ability to simply surrender to the moment, no matter what it contains.

Parenting takes us so often away from ourselves. From our needs, our desires, our dreams and our creativity. It need not be this way. I mean, of course we have less time to devote to these things and to ourselves, but we do have time. We simply have to reclaim it from the myriad of things we lose ourselves in or that we think just cannot wait. TV, reading, tidying up, browsing the internet, writing emails, texting, answering calls - all of these 'needful' things seem to interrupt the flow. We can take back 5 minutes here and 15 minutes there until we have an hour or more of time that we can call ours. Nap time and after bedtime are really good times to try and do something creative when your babies are still small. As they grow in independence, so does our time for ourselves. So even if you can only find 15 minutes in an average day, take it for yourself and use it wisely. Meditate maybe. I write down anything creative as it occurs to me in a notebook I carry with me for this purpose. It helps. I forget less and it doesn't matter if I get distracted once its written. Anyway - that little bit of time for myself this morning helped a lot. I had a bigger smile for strangers and a gladness of heart that is not often present. And of course it made me miss my Beanie very much. I wanted to share my happy heart with her and to show her that sometimes mummy can be very, very good. I think its time I started my 5am vigil again. Time to once again let the Beloved in. What have I to lose except my chains? And what might I yet gain?

* In the arms of The Beloved

When you find yourself with the Beloved, embracing for

one breath,

In that moment you will find your true destiny.

Alas, don't spoil this precious moment

Moments like this are very, very rare.

Rumi

* Fire Woman Picture courtesy of Fire Fairy

*'In the Arms of the Beloved' picture courtesy of Cheryl Alexander Creations

I hear my tribe calling to me as leaves fall like green rain from the oak beside me. I will answer that call today.

May your caravan carry you safely back home to the beloved.