tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post6033155305525321741..comments2023-10-10T20:29:44.977+11:00Comments on The Awakened Heart: To Be Or Not To BeThe Awakened Hearthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18283471463348525046noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-36771392799857590022009-04-15T11:58:00.000+10:002009-04-15T11:58:00.000+10:00dear awakened heart~ i felt sure that i had commen...dear awakened heart~ i felt sure that i had commented on this blog previously, but i think now that i read it and felt so many things that i was ruminating and forgot to comment :) <br /><br />i agree with all the things the other posters have said, especially that i don't think siblings automatically provide love and companionship. and i know getting older is scary when you still want to have a baby, but i know things can still turn out fine. a friend of mine became pregnant at 43 and had a healthy baby boy. <br /><br />but i also think that choosing not to have another baby would not be selfish at all. i see mothers who look like they're at their wits end at the market, trying to juggle groceries and multiple children and i look down at my only daughter and feel so happy. my partner and i have discussed having another child, but honestly the thought terrifies me. i don't think i could handle more than one. but i'm not sure i want to either. i want to give all my love and focus to our daughter right now and the thought of having to divide that attention away from her makes me feel sad. i want this to be her time.<br /><br />but i can completely see how torn you are as part of you really wants another baby. i'm so sorry you are struggling with this inner conflict and longing. <br /><br />my heart goes out to you. i wish you peace in whatever you decide~~~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-48698681308850129542009-04-11T06:48:00.000+10:002009-04-11T06:48:00.000+10:00I am a new reader here but was so caught by this p...I am a new reader here but was so caught by this post, I must leave a comment. I hope you don't mind.<BR/><BR/>I can empathise with the place you are in right now. I was in that place a couple of years ago. And I let fear and doubt and practical reasons make the choice for me. And now it is too late. <BR/><BR/>By the way, don't let motherhood make you think you can't be a wild gypsy! My dd will tell you that I am wild, strange, only half in this world. Be your true self so your child has encouragement to be her true self too. :-)<BR/><BR/>You have a beautiful weblog.sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03818420999930644450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-56528830219914503972009-04-11T04:33:00.000+10:002009-04-11T04:33:00.000+10:00What an open post. That is a lot to work through.I...What an open post. That is a lot to work through.<BR/><BR/>I've heard the sibling arguments too, especially the "They need to have siblings so that when they're adults they have those relationships in their lives." I'm here to tell you that as a child with 9 siblings, none of those are close sibling relationships. A few of us have hard-won *friend* relationships, but there is no sibling camaraderie, there-for-you-no-matter-what relationships among *any* of us.<BR/><BR/>I hope you're able to come to a peaceful decision either way.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01060662533625106100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-5094793267548244212009-04-06T17:53:00.000+10:002009-04-06T17:53:00.000+10:00I was quite alarmed and upset reading this post. T...I was quite alarmed and upset reading this post. That image of you two with a car heading toward you... Fu*k! I'm so glad you're ok. My tummy is still tensed up, and yes, a pretty evocative metaphor for the intensity of everything going on, in and out.<BR/><BR/>I feel less qualified to comment, being childless, but I well recognise that ache of longing from a termination, that journey begun. My body and spirit have been tugging at me for years to get to work, so much so that I frequently have dreams about being pregnant, birthing, and breast-feeding (sometimes the little one is a kitten rather than of the human variety! which says a lot about my ailurophile tendencies and love of De Bernieres...) <BR/><BR/>I agree with Docwitchy and Mon re the only child not having to be so lonely and traumatised. I'm living proof. Kind of. Cue maniacal laughter.<BR/><BR/>I also "here, here" the ideas that honouring your health and inner rhythms/intuition will yield much that will nourish, and help you decide.<BR/><BR/>Love, sol XXlaura (warmthandlight)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10183314817546410338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-53840855615336429842009-04-05T03:02:00.000+10:002009-04-05T03:02:00.000+10:00What a brave and exposed post. I almost cried, th...What a brave and exposed post. I almost cried, though I'm raw from my own mothering experiences at the moment. I hope you come to a decision you can live with.Cave Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08489375502067939290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-83673127973021978572009-04-04T03:09:00.000+11:002009-04-04T03:09:00.000+11:00After two and a half years of trying for another, ...After two and a half years of trying for another, my husband and I made the decision to stop trying almost two years ago now. It was traumatic for me, but I worked through the emotions and have come to a point now where I am happy with the decision. I know that it was the right one. I had to go through what I was feeling and decide why I was feeling that way. Although sometimes I still think about what it would be like to have another. I know I don't want to go through pregnancy and the infant stage again. I am spoiled with my five year old that can have his own time, allowing me my own time. I'm selfish! There, I said it. I'm at the point of being able to have more of a life of my own and I like it. I don't want to give it up, even for a few years. How awful of me (not really). I still see myself as a good mom, just a little different from other moms possibly. <BR/><BR/>Only you and your partner can make the decision. Just know that having a single child is a wonderful experience, just as having more than one is. Your heart will lead you in the right direction.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16685887988265673434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-75921658517018951612009-04-03T21:04:00.000+11:002009-04-03T21:04:00.000+11:00I'm with the Doc, I don't into the sibling thing. ...I'm with the Doc, I don't into the sibling thing. It CAN be amazing, it can also be traumatic.<BR/><BR/>And the whole 'I want to get it right the next time around' is fraught with a LOT of problems.<BR/><BR/>Me, I'm happy wth one. I couldn't and don't want to do the pregnancy and newborn thing again. But originally the idea had always been two. I just want to be the best parent for the one that is here now. If in the future I get the urge to parent again, it would be adoption.<BR/><BR/>It's amazing though isn't it, how our bodies crave this of us? Even when you're struggling with mamahood now, you still consider another. Hormones have a lot to answer for, lol.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11863793441609598153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-52254503310333401442009-04-03T08:34:00.000+11:002009-04-03T08:34:00.000+11:00We're going through something a little like what y...We're going through something a little like what you're experiencing. <BR/><BR/>I'm quite reluctant to have another child, but there is a sadness at the possibility that I am saying goodbye to that part of my life, (like so many women do at some point).<BR/><BR/> I love the idea of being pregnant (although that is a potentially fraught and traumatic experience for me because of my risk factors), having a good birth, and the thought of a little baby. But for me personally, I don't feel those reasons are good, solid reasons enough to bring a little soul into the world. <BR/>As to whether I want to devote my life to another child, I don't think I do. However selfish that sounds. I want to be the best mother I can be to the child that I have.<BR/><BR/>Also, in this day and age, a child not having a sibling is not going to be a dreadful thing. A lot of the time sibling relationships aren't always positive anyway. I get so sick of hearing from other people that it's not fair to my child that she has no siblings. I just don't buy it, and children can be lonely for a number of reasons - with or without siblings. <BR/><BR/>Whatever you decide, I hope it works out, and you find what is best for you. Caring for your health is the best thing you can do for the child that you already have, and any potential baby.Antoinettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10279365115311331326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6441623775027962723.post-44327140447209033092009-04-03T07:11:00.000+11:002009-04-03T07:11:00.000+11:00Of course only you guys can make that decision, bu...Of course only you guys can make that decision, but I sympathise, I really do. We have are own issues with age, health and fertility so know where you're coming from. I'm not yet able to let go of the dream of a second child, but am concentrating on health for now, in the hope that better health will make for easier conception and healthier parenting. Will reassess towards end of the year.<BR/><BR/>In hope you'll find an answer, or a reprieve soon.Carinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03950410908460825107noreply@blogger.com